I am staring into the almost dark skies awaiting for the minutes ticking away until I can leave work, as the moment has not arrived I am waiting, thinking and I have a strange sense of optimism that lingers within my thoughts. I cannot describe this single thought but a sense of contentment and realization; although we cannot change or control every single thing in our life we have to deal with it despite if we like it or not. These thoughts wander my mind trying to be placed and controlled but instead it fades into darkness. I think the only thing left are the memories, are the dreams that are constantly playing stuck on repeat and await for them to stop. Awaking to this feeling is not the most pleasant feeling to endure, however happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
To me, happiness has become a more subtle and significant feeling/emotion. I have found happiness in the people that surround me in my life. My relationship with my father is surprising and I feel a sense of love, real love I have not encountered in awhile. I can smile with ease. My relationship with my family in general has grown and is different but it is expected since the birth of my sister's baby (my niece) Chloe was born almost a month ago. She is the most precious little girl ever and she has brought the kind of happiness that cannot be explained. I love HER.
As the difference of light and dark becomes non-existent to me, I feel more like myself than I have ever been in the longest time ♥ The reconnection of friends I haven't spoke to in awhile, the laughter of something so simple and the walks at night seem surreal. Time is only a figment of our imagination, it is there one moment and gone the next. I am in love with the embracing every single moment, every single second with a smile. A smile can seem so simple but there are people I encounter every single day without happiness. I can feel their stress, moments of worry and sometimes I really do wish I can make even a small difference; even if it is small. Life is always unexpected.
My weekend was wonderful ♥ I went to see Avatar Friday evening after it has been playing for 3 weeks or more, it is still as hectic as it was when it first came out. The second last showing was sold out, so we watched the last showing The graphics were amazing with the 3D effect it made the movie a lot more real. It reminded me a lot of WoW (World of Warcraft) for some reason; maybe that is another reason for liking the movie ha ha. I felt the plot however was predictable but the soundtrack was amazing and it was worth watching. We went to Go For Tea afterward, service wasn't amazing since we got there "late" and I was so tired from insomnia or lack of sleep.
Saturday morning, I was exhausted. I had about 4 hours of sleep and I ended up going to the gym, it has been almost a month since I've gone; it felt amazing. I did less than my usual but it still felt great ♥ I did laundry afterward with my mom, it took about 2hrs since we had tons of blankets and bed sheets to wash ha ha. It was fun I was watching a movie at the laundry mat while waiting; love my laptop My mom and I went to get Indian food and it was SO GOOD! Love it! I feel like eating more spicy foods heehee. SO I went for hot pot with a friend later at night, it was so filling and the service was blah -____-; should've went later or something ha ha it would've been cheaper. I was craving cake so we went to Destiny, we both got cakes and bbt ♥ Mm, I got Truffle Royale; I will post photos once I upload them ha ha.
Sunday morning, I couldn't even get up I felt so sore ha ha from lack of sleep and gym is a bad combination. I went to the gym at 10am instead of 9am -____-; worked out and felt more energized and refreshed. Came home and went to get ready to go out again, met up with a friend at STC. We went shopping (more like I went shopping♥) I got 10 for 30$ panties at La Senza, cardigan+blazer from Sirens, shirt+vest from Urban Planet and hair dye (since I need to dye my hair again soon). I am still waiting for my package from Forever 21 and DSK ♥ We watched Daybreakers, it was disappointing to be honest and I felt the plot could have been a lot better. Went to Boston Pizza for dinner, ah the food was good but the drinks were disappointing.
I have had enough western food, I am craving Korean food♥ Need to finish a couple more things before I leave work, ah it's almost 7 and it is so dark outside I miss the light that I used to see when I finished work; I await Spring ha ha.
Sometimes we all need to take a step back and enjoy life. Instead of over thinking we should embrace the most simple kinds of happiness. I haven't posted photos in awhile so here's my life; let your mind fill with love ♥
I love you ♥ You all make my world a place of inspiration and happiness.
I slept around 12 last night and I feel so refreshed, awake and alive. I have been lacking sleep for awhile and simply pushed away the tiredness to the point of where I did not feel tired I felt exhausted. I guess we all have a breaking point where our body gives in.
Appreciation. To appreciate by definition is to be grateful or thankful for whatever it might be, in other words prize, value imply holding something in high regard. To appreciate is to exercise wise judgment, delicate perception, and keen insight in realizing the worth of something. I realize people take this simple gesture, thought for granted; however I understand words are not always necessary instead showing your appreciation is more important. In terms of appreciation, I mean to be thankful for the things you do have in lifeand not focus on the things you do not have.
First off, I am thankful for my family I realize this more and more as I've grown up, learned and I am a lot closer with them than I used to be. I want to spend more time because I realize family is a part of me, something we cannot take for granted and instead we should appreciate every single moment and memory we do create with them. Although things might change in life it does not mean we should let them affect our relationship with our family, life is everchanging we cannot change this fact but it does not have to influence us in a negative way instead we should let others feel our positivity and optimistic side of life.
Friendship is another thing I am thankful for The friends that have supported me when I needed you the most, the ones who listen to my nonsense and rants (repeatedly!) you have no idea how much I appreciate you. Recently, I have reconnected with a couple of friends and it feels good to be able to have friends whom I can rely on if I ever need someone to talk to or someone to make me laugh/cry/smile/etc. There have been people that I have encountered in my life, they have come and gone but I still appreciate that moment that they were present in my life; because for whatever reason I feel no matter how little they played in my life they are important.
I never make resolutions because I do not find a purpose in doing so, however this year I will and I will break the promise of no resolutions and try my best to fulfill them; to keep them in mind and live life with a smile. So I do not promise but I do hope I try my hardest this year with the following: - Exercise at 2-3x per week & get to the point where I feel satisfied (I am getting there). - Appreciate and spend more time with friends AND family (♥) - Do not dwell on the past (in terms of negative thoughts) - Take test for G1&G2 (must get it THIS YEAR lor..) - Spend less and save more (♥) - Figure out what I want to do for the future (;O!) - Change eating habits (in terms of eating healthier, drink more water, etc)
As the new year settles in around me I realize the emotional side of me has gotten the best of me and I am barely five days into the year. I realized the lack of sleep I have been having has caused me to over think and over analyze things that would normally not bother me. To add onto lack of sleep, I've been sick for a week or more; slowly recuperating but it has been affecting me emotionally. I am not using this lack of sleep as an excuse but simply at night when I attempt to sleep; I am unable to have a full night of rest.
Last night I felt emotionally unstable, I am not sure what triggered this feeling but it brought an overwhelming amount of emotions/feelings/thoughts I wished I had never thought of. It was as if every negative thought I could possibly have would occur and make me feel even worse. I realized I am stronger than this. I awoke this morning with a renewed strength and realization. I feel sometimes we have to fall to learn to put things into perspective and to make us realize what is important in life.
Onto daily rants, I went out for Korean food with a friend last night and we chatted on about relationships. I can never get enough of Korean food, I am still craving -____-; Back to topic, the different types of relationships from "friends with benefits" to a "serious relationship", it was interesting to see another point of view of a relationship. I realized how much I missed spending time with friends having serious and non-serious conversations, laughing for no reason and not having to care what time it was. Lately, I have been realizing the importance of friendship and this makes me appreciate the simple things in life.
I realized sometimes we all need a second chance, whether it is in a relationship or a friendship. I recently reconnected with someone I never thought I'd speak with again, this unexpectedness made me realize nothing is ever 100%. Words could not describe the feeling I had when I saw him again after two years; I thought it would be awkward but instead I felt comfortable and as if our friendship was always there. I am happy for this second chance. There are people in my life that have come and gone, sometimes I wish I could reconnect with them but I understand there is a reason/purpose for our presence/existence in that person's life. I realized to not regret. I have never been the type to regret anything in life because I know everything happens for a reason; and because of this I feel more at ease. I feel I am satisfied with the kind of person I am. I don't need to please other people instead I rather people accept me for the person I am; instead of attempting to change me. I think I can finally breath♥